*The Ten Rules of Getting Along With People.
Service Sermon 18-19 Feb '06Preacher: Pastor Kong Hee(It may be a little different from your own notes because this post is typed in my (Benjamin) perspective)
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Prov 11:30 says that "winning souls" is wise but what does it truly means?
"Winning souls" is not just trying to shaft the Gospel down people's throat or to keep preaching the Gospel like a cold, heartless recorder.
"Winning soul" is in fact to first winning people to yourself and in the process win them to Jesus! We Christian are to be the lamp that shines the light of Christ and point the way for people.
Know this, that you can either attract or repel people away from Jesus. Therefore, we must always win friends by building meaningful yet fun-filled relationships.
Studies shows that:People who are successful in life are people who have reasonably good relationship with others.
On the contrary, 90% of the people who failed in their career cannot get along with people.
So indeed, getting along with others is a very important key that would determine your success in life.
Let's look at TEN general rules that you can find in the bible that teaches how to get along with people.
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The TEN RULES of getting along with people.
1. COMMUNICATE: The key of life!You are born with one mouth and two ears so better be sure that you listen more then you speak!
The mistake many people make when communicating is to keep speaking and not allow others to talk. They blabber off like a machine gun and peppered a lot of information at one time. This makes it hard for the other party to catch what you wanna say. And talking non stop isn't communication, it is just one party having "Verbal Diarrhea"
and the other party acting as a "Toilet Bowl". (No wonder we avoid such people.)
So, learn to say ONE THING AT A TIME.
2. Be INTERESTED in other people's world.Phil 2:3-4
Start a conversation by finding out how the other person is doing. Be interested in what is happening in the other party's life!
God showed His love by always listening to us no matter how many time we came to seek him when we are down or complained when we are angry. God never shove us aside or close His ears to our words because He is really interested in the life of each and everyone of us.
Therefore, in case you haven't quite get it, to LOVE someone is to be INTERESTED in someone.
3. Make others feel IMPORTANT! God feels everyone is important because He always have great plans for each and everyone of us. Always make someone feel that his work is more important than it really is, make them feel important!
One good way is also to ask the other party to TEACH you something that he is really good in. It helps someone feels important and at the same time, you are also learning new things.
4. SMILE when you meet people.Never put on a frown as it would put people off and attract no one else but the devil himself while a SMILE signifies that you are enjoying the company of the other party.
5. ENCOURAGE people.
To encourage means to "empower" someone with courage, confidence and faith! Help people to believe in themselves. If you can movtivates others, you will have win them over.
6. Be LONGSUFFERING. (suffering for a long time.)
Be patient with people. Don't jump into judgmental conclusion about people just because of their appearance or mannerism. Be positive to assume the best instead of assuming the worst.
Remember that God believes in everyone of us so learn to take a long time to be angry and allow people room to make mistakes.
No one likes to be around a SHORT-TEMPERED person.
7. RESPECT people!Respect people's title; address them according to the title given to them. E.g. Pastor Kong, Doctor Bernard, Brother Ming Jin etc. (Imagine going up to Pastor Kong and you greet him, "YO KONG!" Don't you feel like slapping yourself?)
Respect people's boundaries and space too. Don't try to be too familiar or become too close with a person and disturb his privacy.
Very important. Always respect people's father (parents)! No matter how the other party may be complaining about his father, NEVER JOIN IN! Ultimately that person's dad isn't your dad. Worsening a conflict isn't going to be good for your own reputation.
8. ESTEEM others better than yourself.Humble yourself and lift up others. A great way to make people feel good to be around you.
9. Use PEOPLE'S NAME more than usual.One of the sweetest thing is to hear someone mentioning your name for a good cause. It is good to remember people's name as it is more personal.
Remember to help others remember your name too. Always introduce yourself so that people don't feel awkward.
10. Be COMPLIMENTARY of people.Tell someone that he is doing a good job! Tell another that he is making great progress! Be extravagant in your praise to others. Measured praise is not true praise.
Children are the gems of every parents .Compliment children in front of their parents.
Always compliment a male for their work as most man measure their worth to their jobs!
If you are a leader or in an authorative position, never ever crush the spirit and ego of your workers. Learn to be very positive and encouraging.
Always look for the positive things instead of the negative things.
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Now let's look at how we can fit in the ten rules at home.
Eph 6:1-3
As a SON/DAUGHTER, always honor your parents. To "honor" in Greek means to give lavishly to them! That's right! Don't just tell them you love them. Respect them! Praise them! Spend on them!
Eph 6:4
As a PARENT, never ever put unreasonable expectations on your children. Don't impose petty rules and worse still, show favoritism. The key to parenting is to know that every time spend with your children is indispensable.
Col 13:19
As a HUSBAND, love your wife! Know that a woman will always speak differently so seek to understand them. Learn to speak their lingo.
A side note:
Man! Remember that where your treasure is there your heart will be. If you want to love your wife more, then don't be stingy, spend lavishly on them!Eph 5:33
As a WIFE, always respect your husband! Encourage him and praise him. Make him feel important. (And please don't ever compare him with another man.)
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The fact of life is that, we can never choose who is going to be our dad or our mum. However, it is really
up to us to choose our friends. So who should our friends be? Who are truly our friends?
1. Friends STRENGTHENS your hands in God.1 Sam 23:16
True friends will strengthen you in spiritual things and make you love Jesus more and more.
2. Friends make FAITH, not fear.True friends will always give you confidence and not make you feel insecure. They will encourage you and not make you feel inferior.
3. Friends CELEBRATE each other's victory.A true friend will never try to compete with you all the time. They will never get jealous with your success.
A true friend is what the bible says, "will rejoice when you rejoice and mourn when you mourn."
4. Friends EQUIP you for the future.1 Sam 18:4
Love is a willingness to sacrifice my best to allow others to go further. A true friend will never try to hold you back or worse, try to make you backslide.
Remember that God will never short-change you when you learn to give and bless. God also have great plans for you so never worry that you will not have enough. Our God is a God of MORE THAN ENOUGH!!!
Go out there and be a blessing to the whole world!
